Procrastination, it's my middle name

Ok I really need to not wait until 11 o'clock the night before a test to start studying! Anyways to procrastinate studying even more my lesson for today is: When changing the toner on a copy machine you don't actually take the whole thing out and put a new one in like you would on a printer; it's more of a transferring the contents of one thing to another thing type deal, and if it's done incorrectly I hear it's one of the messiest mistakes ever (not that I would know personally). So by all means read the instructions on the box or at least pay attention to the freaking tutorial that the copy machine itself will walk you through.

hand + spit = life lesson

Today's lesson: Sometimes the only thing that will clean millions of little itty bitty tiny hairs off of an upholstered surface(or at least gather it into a pile so one can suck it up in the vacuum) is your hand and a bit of spit.

A lifetime of lessons

Yeah so it's been awhile since my last post, sorry about that. I can't say I've been extraordinarily busy or anything, just lazy and procrastinating as per my usual. I was thinking today about how sometimes I want to write but I don't really know what to write or I have too much to write so I just don't. Then I had a great idea, since I am always learning little lessons from others I decided that I will write a "lesson of the day" each day even if I don't post an actual "post". Great idea right???? That way I'll be able to remember the lessons others teach me instead of thinking briefly about them and then filing them away. Sometimes I may just write the lessons, sometimes I may have a story to go along with them sometimes the lesson may be incorporated into an "actual post" but this seems like just what I need to make me write.

All that being said today I went to a Serbian picnic with my grandpa and mom and v. and there was an old woman there who so wanted to get up and dance (you could just see it in her eyes, that and the way she was swaying around waving her arms)but no one else was dancing so she held off. A few minutes later my grandpa decided he was ready to leave so I stood up to start clearing off the table and the woman came over to me, put her hand on my shoulder, and said something to me which I didn't quite understand (I thought maybe she just had a thick accent) to which I replied "What?" and she said it again in my ear. The problem with this was that she was not speaking English but Serbian which I do not speak at all. So instead of just being a normal person and explaining that I don't speak Serbian I just turned my back on the poor woman and went about my business. I just panicked and ignored her. I have no explanation as to why and I cannot justify it, I was a complete and total bitch to someone just because I felt uncomfortable. It hit me so hard at that moment, not just because I acted terribly to her but because I saw a bigger pattern, when I get uncomfortable (usually in certain social situations) or when things don't go my way I shut down. I cannot do this, it is not okay and it is a terrible and useless defense mechanism, I know this and I need to change it. If I ever see her again she'll probably think "There's that rude girl who couldn't even talk to me, who ignored me like I was trash" (and I wouldn't blame her at all). I feel so terribly for it (and not because of what she may think of me but because I know I was an ass) so I am sorry, sincerely sorry to anyone I have ever shut out and anyone I have ever hurt on account of my insecurities. So my lesson for today is: if things are tough don't shut down, it accomplishes nothing and to top it all off it has the potential to hurt others.

Schools not out for summer

So I started my summer class Monday (Dynamics of Personality) and at first I was totally bummed. The class is two hours long everyday for the rest of summer, but then I had a revelation the class consists of only two papers and a few tests and I now only have to work two hours a day plus the subject matter and instructor are pretty interesting. So I've decided that I'm glad I sucked it up and took a summer class because it motivates me to get stuff done and I have to work less, I'm such a lazy ass.

Oh yeah and today's topic of discussion in class: defense mechanisms. It was very interesting because I am guilty of almost all of them, hahaha maybe I should work on that.

Now with 10 times the water pressure

Not to be all bitchy or complain-y or whatnot but is it really entirely necessary to freakin use a jack-hammer at 8:00 a.m.??? Huh Mr. Water guy from the water company doing water related repairs??? Cripe! I am sooooo not a morning person and nothing usually wakes me up (including the smoke detector) but 45 minutes of jack-hammering on the asphalt right outside my house seemed to do the trick. I was not happy, I was the exact opposite of happy, I was pissed. Then Mr. Water guy, as if that wasn't bad enough please tell me why, whyyyyyyyy it was necessary to talk to someone who was standing 5 feet away from you ON A BULLHORN...about things that had nothing to do with water lines or the repairs thereof, but rather about your doctor's appointment later that day and "Ed could you please go with me because I need a ride home" etc. etc. You know if I hadn't gone to turn on the water this morning and had 10 times the normal water pressure I might have had to come out there and back you over with my car.

Teeth falling out dreams

So at the end of yesterdays post I made brief mention of the fact that I keep dreaming about my teeth falling out. I know this is supposed to mean something though I'm not entirely sure what. These dreams are consistent like at least 3 a month and they vary a great deal (except the part where my teeth fall out). And before I go any further please let me explain that my teeth literally fall out, not get loose and wiggle and come out in food, but fall the fuck out of my mouth. Anyways last month I dreamt that several of them fell out and I had to go to the gynecologist for a consult about getting them back in and she told me that if I just held them up to my mouth long enough then they would take. So I kept holding them up but there were a lot of them and I couldnt get them all in the right spot and then I would take my hand away to see if they "stuck" and they would all drop to the floor. I have no idea how it turned out because eventually I just woke up. Not all of them are quite so dramatic for instance the other night they just fell out and someone said I had a fungus (nice huh?). But seriously how weird am I????

It should be noted that in my waking life I think the whole losing teeth thing is absolutely repulsive so maybe that has something to do with it right????

Seriously could I use the word funny a few more times????

Let it be known that I am a reality T.V. addict. I love all shows reality based. That being said I have never really watched Last Comic Standing until this season and oh mylanta is it funny. How can people really be that funny? That show contains more funny than should be allowed in any one hour span of time ever. I was just laying in bed last night at 2 in the morning with nothing to do (I'm not so much of a night sleeper) so I turned on an episode I recorded and maybe it was because it was late and I was delirious but seriously, a great deal of funny ensued which involved much hearty laughter from me and much yelling of the phrase "Shut up I'm trying to sleep dammit!" from my precious mother. Regardless, it felt really good to laugh like that because for once it wasn't at the expense of someone else. Like, these people actually wanted me to laugh at them, who could ask for more? All I want is people to let me laugh at them uncontrollably and occasionally make fun of them when they make mistakes, is that so terrible of me?? (What,it is??? Well shit no wonder I have no friends).

Edited to add: For the love of humanity can someone please tell me what it means when I keep dreaming about my teeth falling out???

Okay I just wanted to make note of how weird it is that I actually dreamt a blogging related dream last night. The dream lasted like, literally, two seconds and all it consisted of was me finding a note written by my co-worker to my boss regarding me that had yesterday's date and read "Couldn't stop blogging". Totally random and weird especially since my co-worker is old and probably doesn't even know what a blog is.

On another completely random note, the weather here has been absolutely a-fucking-mazing; its been sunny and hot which is just the way I prefer weather to be. On Sunday I went to my dad's new camper (me, the queen of hating the outdoors and all things camp related) but it was okay because his campground is fairly civilized (as much as a campground can be) and has a very lovely swimming pool and even a movie theater. So I spent my day laying in the hot, hot, sun and wading into the pool every once in a while, all while reading this weeks edition of US Weekly (speaking of which holy crap Nicole Richie is pregnant!). I was watching Last Comic Standing last week and this girl pretty much summed up what I perceive to be the "camping experience". She said: "It's pretty much a bunch of people who don't live in trailer parks but like to vacation at one." Not saying that there's anything wrong with living in a trailer park because my dad totally does (he lives in one and vacations in one; double classy)its just not my cup of tea (camping, not living in a mobile home)

Well I was just thinking about what to title this post but blogger must have known that I got nothin because it won't let me type in a title. Hmmm we'll see how that pan's out.

Why even pursue a degree if I know I'll eventually revert to not being able to do something as simple as fill out a timecard?

Why oh why why why why why is it so hard for otherwise intelligent people to fill out time cards???? You see I work in an office at a library and we're kinda old school. We still fill out our time cards by hand, you know the ones where you write in the numbers and fill in the bubbles etcetera etcetera. And I, being the lucky girl that I am, get to check all these time cards on a bi-weekly basis....with my eyes, and correct them....with my hand and a pencil. What these people don't understand is that a computer (which eventually processes the time cards after being repeatedly reviewed by me)cannot generalize. A machine cannot interpret what you meant to write versus what you actually wrote nor can it finish filling in the bubbles for you if you "just get it started". These people have advanced degrees and they cannot write a few numbers and fill in the corresponding bubbles completely. It's a sad day folks. A sad and annoying day.

p.s. Do you ever write a whole post that is awesome and completely embodies all things good in the world and then you accidentally delete it and write a new one and publish it and then keep editing it because you want it to be the exact wording of the previous one except in the back of your mind you know the first one was a masterpiece and nothing will ever, I repeat ever, be the same again???? Not that I did that with this post or anything. I'm just sayin.

Still coming down off my post-John Mayer high

JOHN MAYER
Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

It's not a silly little moment
It's not the storm before the calm
This is the deep and dyin breath of
This love we've been workin on

Can't seem to hold you like I want to
So I can feel you in my arms
Nobody's gonna come and save you
We pulled too many false alarms

We're goin down
And you can see it too
We're goin down
And you know that we're doomed
My dear
We're slow dancing in a burnin room

I was the one you always dreamed of
You were the one I tried to draw
How dare you say it's nothing to me
Baby, you're the only light I ever saw

I'll make the most of all the sadness
You'll be a bitch because you can
You try to hit me just hurt me
So you leave me feeling dirty
Because you can't understand

We're goin down
And you can see it too
We're goin down
And you know that we're doomed
My dear
We're slow dancing in a burnin room

Go cry about it why don't you
Go cry about it why don't you
Go cry about it why don't you
My dear, we're slow dancin' in a burnin' room,
Burninl room, burnin' room
Don't you think we oughta know by now
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow
Don't you think we oughta know by now
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow
Don't you think we oughta know by now
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow
Don't you think we shoulda learned somehow


How talented is he? He plays his own music and he has this way of writing amazing lyrics that speak to exactly how people are feeling. He's a great musician and he's hot but thats all, I'll stop with the "John Mayer this" and the "John Mayer that" now.

Breaking the silence

Ok so I'm back to my old talkative self and as my template says OMG There is sooooooo much to tell you. But I'll try and keep it simple for now.

First I told you I would tell you about the wedding I went to last weekend so here it goes. I went to my cousins wedding (details about the shower listed here) It was a loooong Catholic ceremony and the priest made way too many jokes throughout but anyways fast forward to the reception where I drank 7 vodka and cranberry juices and hardly got tipsy and also caught the bouquet!!!!! I have never caught the bouquet and I kept telling everyone today was my day (not because I want to get married but because I am extremely competitive lol) and it was. Unfortunately the guy who caught the garter was totally underwhelmed and possibly gay so I stayed as dignified as is possible when a stranger is sliding a garter ever so slowly closer to your personal space while everyone watches and the photographer snaps pictures. I didn't get any pictures but I might be able to link to them online. So that's the wedding story.

I also mentioned vacation pictures but the scanner's not hooked up so thats a no go.

Lastly, I will talk about my amazing weekend. This weekend my other half (aka my best friend Selena) was in town and we went to Cedar Point friday, shopping and hanging out Saturday and to the JOHN freakin MAYER concert on Sunday. He was amazing and adorable and I want to have his love child even though he does make those really weird faces when he sings. Hmmm you think he makes the same faces during sex because I might hafta wear a blindfold if that's the case.

Well that's the Cliffs Notes of the last week and I'm so glad I'm feeling more like writing again :)