A new chapter on the horizon

I am sitting here in absolute amazement. I have just written and printed my final undergraduate paper. I turn it in tomorrow and take one really easy test on Thursday and then I'm a college grad. You have no idea how sentimental I am and how freaked out I get when my world changes. And this?? Will be a big change. I will be off school for an entire semester as my graduate program doesn't start until end of May early June. Also, I work as a student assistant in an office on campus and because I am graduating that means I'm leaving my job too.

I know that I bitch and moan about school and how stressed I am but I cannot fathom not being in school. It is what I do, all I've known. I have worked, but jobs have always been secondary to getting my education. What will I do with all the TIME??? How will it feel to read a book or watch t.v. and not be thinking, in the back of my mind, that I should be working on such and such that's due next week?

And work, don't even get me started on how sad I am to be leaving my perfect little office. I'm still in denial about this one. I have worked there for 3 and a half years, so basically all of my undergrad years, and I love it. It is private so I'm not constantly forced to interact with other students, the schedule is flexible, the work load is light and simple, and the people are amazing. Oh the people I work with...I wish I could bottle them up and take them with me. I cannot imagine not walking to my office and saying hello to Peg, and practicing portuguese with Janete, and listening to Phyllis curse and laugh, and talking to Kaye about her adorable grandson and what she did over the weekend. These people have been more than people that I work for and with, they have been my cheerleaders and have supported me in all the work I've done both academically and otherwise. They have taken a true interest in my life and have made going to work pleasurable. I am so very sad to be leaving my little nest. I just want things to stay the same, I am so scared of change. I cannot imagine finding a better work environment or people who care more about me. They are throwing me a celebration on Thursday and I promised myself I wouldn't cry until Friday (my last day), I doubt I'll be able to follow through. Today when I got to work there was an envelope with pictures of an outing that I went on with Peg and her grandson, so thoughtful. Little gifts have been trickling in and even better little words of encouragement and congratulations. They have confidence in me that I will succeed, more confidence in fact, then I think I have in myself.

So here's to starting new chapters, which quite frankly simultaneously terrifies and excites me.