Dear attendees of last Thursdays John Mayer concert,

As my cousin so adequately stated you are "real class acts", especially you barefoot woman in line to buy alcohol when you're already holding another glass of it in your hand and talking about how you always get messed up at concerts and then when the lady goes to hand you your huge beer that you asked 10 million questions about and held us all up for 20 minutes you suddenly decide you don't want it anymore and you simply WALK AWAY. You stumbled off into the sunset, bare feet stomping through puddles of sludge containing God only knows what. You are an ass, put on shoes and get a life.

Middle-aged lady two rows in front of me who is dragging her 10 year old son down with her, you are a fanatic. Newsflash people don't bring binoculars to these kinds of concerts and also, no one actually cries when John Mayer takes the stage. He's not Elvis or Frank Sinatra, he's just a chill guy singing some songs, yes his music is great and he is cute but for the love of all that is good stop crying and bobbing around in that weird way, I missed an entire song cause I was staring at you and laughing (and perhaps even taking a video clip to laugh at later).

Middle-aged couple directly in front of us, all I can say to you is PLEASE STOP GRINDING ON EACH OTHER, not only is this music not conducive to grinding but also it is thoroughly grossing me out.

Guy sitting next to me, when John Mayer comes out to do an encore please don't lean to my cousin and I and explain that you have to leave because you have to pick up your six year old. I don't care why you are leaving or even that you are leaving for that matter, just walk out and leave me alone. P.S. That's why I don't have kids right now; so I don't have to leave stuff to pick them up and feel obligated to explain myself to everyone within a five mile radius.

And finally oooold couple who stopped your car in the middle of the parking lot during the traffic jam to make out and pleasure one another EWWWWWW I think I got herpes just watching you, kindly get a room.

I would appreciate it greatly if all of you would heed my words and preferably never ever go out in public again kthxbai!

Coming soon-a letter to our airhead of a waitress at Bob Evans before the concert.

Great quote from my (sometimes passive) co-worker

"Nicole, I'm learning to be more assertive because the meek may inherit the earth but I just want to survive while I'm here!"

My big white baby

Since Maggie started doggie daycare it has occurred to me on more than one occasion (for instance, last night when I was getting ready to climb into my nice comfy bed which I had just put fresh sheets and a comforter on when I heard gag,buuurp,gag, york!!! and then Maggie's mouth opened and every edible substance in the whole world came flying out of her mouth and immediately the whole room smelled like rotten crap; or the few days before when I dropped her off at daycare and she went charging in to attack the first dog that attempted to sniff her butt region and had to be sprayed w/ a water bottle and put in "time out") how much this animal raising parallels raising children. Except for the fact that raising children is magnified by about 10 million, I would imagine. But when she was sick I still sat there and petted her until she relaxed (she gets really scared when she regurgitates anything. There's a sentence I never thought I'd type) and spot cleaned and stripped the bedding and re-made it. And when she gets in trouble at daycare I still get that embarrassed feeling and start to blush because I TAUGHT MY DOG BETTER THAN THAT AND NOW THESE PEOPLE WILL THINK I'M SOME KIND OF NEANDERTHAL WHO LETS MY DOG ROAM AROUND ATTACKING WHOEVER SHE DARN WELL PLEASES.

All of this to say that a) i am ridiculous and have no life and b)wow I'm glad I didn't get pregnant that one time the condom broke when I was like 18 and in loooove or else I'd be knee deep in these experiences by now. And kids? They can talk and yell and cry and throw fits.

Growth

All of this waiting and worrying and still having to move on with my daily life is teaching me a lesson. I can see myself growing as a person and learning to rely a lot more on God and trust that his will is being done. I'm not usually one to wax all religious on here but I am feeling growth as a person and for me God is part of that so...just sayin. Anyways I finally got an e-mail from J yesterday and gosh did it hit home how much I truly miss him but also how much I didn't really expect to hear from him and was beginning the very initial stages of moving on. But at the same time it felt right, like I knew I would hear from him all along. I don't know what the heck I'm saying, I'm so confused but basically God is working on me and even though it's been hard it doesn't feel devastating like it did before, it just feels like an obstacle I must overcome to obtain true contentment and happiness. Growth people, its all about growth.

I suck at coming up with titles for this stuff

On Monday morning I woke up with tonsils the size of Texas and could hardly swallow. This has continued all week which caused me to actually schedule an appointment with the Dr. (which I never do) but it was more because I need my anti-anxiety/depression pills refilled than the whole pesky can't hardly swallow thing (see I know what's important!). So, hey, lucky me, I have strep throat. I can only hope I passed it on to that absolute dill-weed I went on a date with a couple weeks ago because that would be the bright spot of my week.

So what is so depressing? In my effort to share more, the main thing referred to here was the fact that I was dating an utterly wonderful guy (J), things were going brilliantly. It was unlike any relationship I had shared with someone before, nothing was forced or awkward, there was no tension we just "were". It was relaxed and refreshing and peaceful and wonderful all at once. When I was with him I felt complete and like I was at home (and trust me there is nothing I love more than my home so that is saying A LOT). Everything was great for months and months and then I had to go and jinx myself and write the post (which I have sinced removed) about life's unexpected moments and the next day POOF! everything sucks. He had to go home (he is from India originally) for 6 months to be with his family. We have been trying to contact one another but we keep missing. I swear everytime I listen to his voicemail it rips my heart out because half of me loves him and misses him and the other half of me wants to punch him in the gut. Anyways that's the long end short of it so I am half waiting to see what happens with him and half dating but the more dates I go on the more I miss him so we'll see...

Edited to add: You know what on second though I will repost the post about lifes little moments because I don't want to forget or ignore the wonderful moments in life. So please read it, it's a good one, its from sometime at the end of May/beginning of June or hey, I'll stop being lazy and link to it.

Blahbity blahbity blah blah blah-the post in which I need to shut my face

The whole reason I started this blog was to chronicle the events of my life. I wanted to be able to catalog everything that happened so that I could look back and remember it. Now I realize I was doing it more because I use writing as my preferred form of therapy. That, you see, is a problem. I chose a public forum on which to write my most private thoughts and feelings. Also when I'm actually going through the situation that warrents the writing it is hard for me to do so because I either a)feel like I won't do the event justice and will somehow ruin it by writing about it or b) I clam up and am too upset/depressed/elated/overjoyed..(whatever, you get the picture) to write about it. So I end up feeling like this blog isn't a true representation of "me". It's just a huge pile of posts about why I couldn't post or vague suggestions as to what happened but never really writing about them.
So basically? FAIL
But as always I will try to do better and I will try to post more and write about whats going on even if I feel like I don't want to because if I don't do something then all I'll have is a million years worth of posts that say "whoops sorry I didn't post, the event is still too raw" followed by "the situation is over and it all worked out". Not exactly the in depth chronicling of life that I'd like to have here.

Shiny new mac book and vacation pics!

This weekend my mommy and I went out and got this...


So I can finally post these vacation pics












As you can see from the pictures of my bedroom and bathroom I'm a very tidy person (snort!) More later and also I'm finally joining the 21st century and getting a flickr account, wish me luck with that because I can mess up pretty much everything, it's a gift.