My mom's a lesbian...and your point is? Plus adorable dog photos!
Ok well I was sitting in class today thinking about what to write about because I read so many blogs and they always seem so interesting and the writers always have something to say and here I am a college student with an avarage existance so I started to think of interesting facts about myself. For a stranger, perhaps the most interesting fact that I could think of, one that has shaped my views and my life forever is the fact that my mother is a lesbian.
My parents were married very young (my mom 19 and my dad 21 or thereabouts)and remained married for 19 years, when I was two years old my mom asked my dad to leave and by three years old my parents were officially divorced. My mom had custody and my dad had visitations every-other weekend. By about 4 or 5 my moms girlfriend had begun spending the night and by second grade we all moved into a house together (me my mom and her girlfriend)
By this point it was clear that my moms "girlfriend" was more than just a girlfriend, she was a life parnter who loved me and took on the task of raising me as her own (I'll go into more of that later). Anyways at my young age all of this was both normal (because I had been around it for so long) and terribly difficult. Terribly difficult because what do you tell your friends when they come over for a sleepover (and remember this is early to mid nineties people were NOT nearly as accepting as they are today) I hated knowing that I had one of the most wonderful families imaginable who provided me with all the love and support a girl could want but that others didn't approve so I somehow felt that my mom was wrong and my family counted less than others. All of this was compounded by the fact that my dad (who was and is my best friend and my absolute rock)is very religious and would inadvertantly and sometimes I think on purpose teach about the wrongs of homosexuality and various other sins. I was terrified that my mom would burn in hell and that if I didn't try to change her I would too, all of this stress was the beginning of my anxiety and OCD tendencies (but that is a story for a much later post lol) So, though V.(my moms partner) was absolutely wonderful and I loved my family very much I spent the majority of my childhood begging my mom, if she loved me, to please change who she was.
Finally when I was about 12 or 13 one day everything my mom had been trying to teach me just hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that I loved my family, I had a mom, a dad, and an extra mom and all the beautiful and wonderful members of her extended family that she brought along. I had 3 parents!!!! I had a mom who was happy and content with who she was and was thus able to teach me to be accepting of myself and others. I'm starting to tear up as I write this because honestly, I have two moms, they are both my mothers and I am their daughter and I have learned innumerable lessons from living the life that I have and for that I cannot thank my mom enough, for having courage to stand up and be herself at a time when it wasn't "socially acceptable" (we still have a long way to go there but we're making progress) Furthermore I am so thankful for having V. in my life because she is my mother, not "like a mother" not "a stepmother of sorts" but my mother, I love her the same way I love my mother, and I cannot stress that enough.
There are people who often say to me, "two women can't love each other like a man and a woman" or "its just a friendship not love" or "kids can't be raised in a home with homosexual parents" I am here to tell you (though I had the best of both worlds because I had a dad as well as two moms) that they can and do everywhere around the world. I babysit 3 wonderful children who have two moms, two of them were conceived through artificial insemination and the youngest was adopted from russia and they are the picture of normal, well adjusted children. They are so smart and accepting of others it amazes me. The other night me and their daughter had a conversation that went something like this
Her: Nicole, where do you live?
Me: When I'm at school I live in a dorm, when I'm not at school I live with my mom.
Her: Oh. Do you live with anyone at school?
Me: Yes, I live with a roomate named _________.
Her: Is she your partner?
Me (amazed at how much she knows): No shes just a friend.
Her: O ok.
It makes me so happy to be able to talk like that with a child who is only 7 or 8 years old and have them ask about my "partner". I can't really explain it I guess I'm just so happy that she has an understanding and security that I might not have had at her age.
Anyway if you're still reading by now, I sincerely thank you (and apologize for my lack of punctuation) and the bottom line is: don't judge others because everyone has feelings and we're all pretty much the same underneath it all.
P.S. I promise not all my posts will be so deep and involved, this is just a bit of background about what makes me me!
P.P.S. As I mentioned my darling doggies in my "about me section" I deem it only fair that I immediately post pics for your (and my) viewing pleasure :)
Introducing Roxie (shes an American Eskimo)
And Maggie (white german shepherd husky mix)
My parents were married very young (my mom 19 and my dad 21 or thereabouts)and remained married for 19 years, when I was two years old my mom asked my dad to leave and by three years old my parents were officially divorced. My mom had custody and my dad had visitations every-other weekend. By about 4 or 5 my moms girlfriend had begun spending the night and by second grade we all moved into a house together (me my mom and her girlfriend)
By this point it was clear that my moms "girlfriend" was more than just a girlfriend, she was a life parnter who loved me and took on the task of raising me as her own (I'll go into more of that later). Anyways at my young age all of this was both normal (because I had been around it for so long) and terribly difficult. Terribly difficult because what do you tell your friends when they come over for a sleepover (and remember this is early to mid nineties people were NOT nearly as accepting as they are today) I hated knowing that I had one of the most wonderful families imaginable who provided me with all the love and support a girl could want but that others didn't approve so I somehow felt that my mom was wrong and my family counted less than others. All of this was compounded by the fact that my dad (who was and is my best friend and my absolute rock)is very religious and would inadvertantly and sometimes I think on purpose teach about the wrongs of homosexuality and various other sins. I was terrified that my mom would burn in hell and that if I didn't try to change her I would too, all of this stress was the beginning of my anxiety and OCD tendencies (but that is a story for a much later post lol) So, though V.(my moms partner) was absolutely wonderful and I loved my family very much I spent the majority of my childhood begging my mom, if she loved me, to please change who she was.
Finally when I was about 12 or 13 one day everything my mom had been trying to teach me just hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that I loved my family, I had a mom, a dad, and an extra mom and all the beautiful and wonderful members of her extended family that she brought along. I had 3 parents!!!! I had a mom who was happy and content with who she was and was thus able to teach me to be accepting of myself and others. I'm starting to tear up as I write this because honestly, I have two moms, they are both my mothers and I am their daughter and I have learned innumerable lessons from living the life that I have and for that I cannot thank my mom enough, for having courage to stand up and be herself at a time when it wasn't "socially acceptable" (we still have a long way to go there but we're making progress) Furthermore I am so thankful for having V. in my life because she is my mother, not "like a mother" not "a stepmother of sorts" but my mother, I love her the same way I love my mother, and I cannot stress that enough.
There are people who often say to me, "two women can't love each other like a man and a woman" or "its just a friendship not love" or "kids can't be raised in a home with homosexual parents" I am here to tell you (though I had the best of both worlds because I had a dad as well as two moms) that they can and do everywhere around the world. I babysit 3 wonderful children who have two moms, two of them were conceived through artificial insemination and the youngest was adopted from russia and they are the picture of normal, well adjusted children. They are so smart and accepting of others it amazes me. The other night me and their daughter had a conversation that went something like this
Her: Nicole, where do you live?
Me: When I'm at school I live in a dorm, when I'm not at school I live with my mom.
Her: Oh. Do you live with anyone at school?
Me: Yes, I live with a roomate named _________.
Her: Is she your partner?
Me (amazed at how much she knows): No shes just a friend.
Her: O ok.
It makes me so happy to be able to talk like that with a child who is only 7 or 8 years old and have them ask about my "partner". I can't really explain it I guess I'm just so happy that she has an understanding and security that I might not have had at her age.
Anyway if you're still reading by now, I sincerely thank you (and apologize for my lack of punctuation) and the bottom line is: don't judge others because everyone has feelings and we're all pretty much the same underneath it all.
P.S. I promise not all my posts will be so deep and involved, this is just a bit of background about what makes me me!
P.P.S. As I mentioned my darling doggies in my "about me section" I deem it only fair that I immediately post pics for your (and my) viewing pleasure :)
Introducing Roxie (shes an American Eskimo)
And Maggie (white german shepherd husky mix)
Posted by Nicole at 1:10 PM::
0 Comments::
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