Shiny new mac book and vacation pics!

This weekend my mommy and I went out and got this...


So I can finally post these vacation pics












As you can see from the pictures of my bedroom and bathroom I'm a very tidy person (snort!) More later and also I'm finally joining the 21st century and getting a flickr account, wish me luck with that because I can mess up pretty much everything, it's a gift.

Me

wow my posting has been light lately...or, you know, virtually non-existent. So I'm at work, it's Friday, and hardly anyone is in so I'm doing what I do most often to keep myself occupied--browsing the quotes on photobucket. Yeah I'm cool. Anyways I decided to do a post describing myself in only said quotes so without further ado...

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Here are two I couldn't find on photobucket
"Summer has snuck up again on me and my giant ass"
"I can hardly wait to see and meticulously judge people at my high school reunion"

and finally, my favorite which has absolutely nothing to do with anything...

Couldn't we have something less conspicuous than hot pink?

It started with a cute little "skin tag" on my dog Roxies ear, it was no problem a cute little identifying mark even, until... (dun dun dun) through an unfortunate series of events she spent a couple weeks as the most messed up dog ever.

The tail (ha! get it) of Roxies most messed up looking few weeks ever began with the aforementioned "skin-tag" growing and needing to be removed because it was actually a fatty tumor and if we didn't take it off RIGHT THIS SECOND she might lose her ear (or something to that effect). So, good, fine, we schedule the procedure and the vet says she may as well do a dental while Rox is under because though I hate to admit it and am in utter and total denial about this fact- she's no spring chicken. Again we say ok, good, fine (though last time the vet saw her teeth a couple months ago she said, and I quote "her teeth are fine...awwwww they're kinda cute, she looks like she's from West Virginia") Fast forward to the day of doom, it's 6:30, I'm at the office to pick her up and out trudges this pathetic looking, shaved leg, matted hair, bandaged ear dog which after picking my jaw up off the floor I realized was in fact my princess Rox. I swear she looked like she had just fought in a war or wrestled Maggie for the last bite of kibble. I get her to the car and we're riding home, she's still a bit doped up and I'm making small talk, fun times. At one point when we were almost home she turned to pull something out of her hair and growled at herself because she didn't realize that she was the one doing it. So we think the ordeal is over. Messed up hair and some stitches? Eh we can deal with that no problem. But then....

A week later a sore developed on Roxie's side which the vet said was a reaction to the anesthesia. They shaved my beautiful long haired dog's side to drain it. So now she has matted hair, stitched ear, shaved leg (from the iv), shaved side, gaping wound, and then to add insult to injury she cannot lick the wound so she must wear a hot pink foam neck brace (do you hear that noise? that is the sound of me weeping.) Oh yeah and did I mention that a couple days before that she had been sleeping in the driveway under our truck which we had just had rust-proofed and she got black grease all over her white hair and we had to cut it out in big chunks and there was still a little grease left. So just to recap: matted hair, stitched ear, shaved leg, shaved side, gaping wound, hot-pink neck brace, choppy haircut, stained with grease. Then we arrive home and I'm petting her and I feel a new "skin tag", shit! I feel so bad for her that I'm gonna go buy her a pony. What do you think?


Hot pink neck brace-do not want. A pony? yes pleeeeze

My sincere apologies to this poor groundhogs family

Did I ever tell you about the time my dog Maggie killed a groundhog WHILE SHE WAS TIED UP IN THE YARD? Well she did and she was. Why on Gods green earth a groundhog would walk that close to a dog I will never know but she thought it was some great new robotic toy and only too late did I look out the window and run outside to get her to drop it. And as any responsible pet owner does I took pictures of that poor innocent groundhogs blood on my dog (yes I know I'm going straight to hell), you know just for documentation. Guess who was digging a hole in the back yard and conducting a groundhog funeral that night? (hint: not me).
And now the evidence...

Two peas in a pod

Just dropping in to say I made it back from Virginia (a week ago already!) and I had a wonderful weekend, pictures and stories to follow but I've been too busy enjoying the awesome weather to blog. So here, look, aren't my dog and I two peas in a pod?






Also, people say my mother and I look alike, whaddya think?

I want a hippopotamus for anytime

So I don't think I have ever discussed my intense love of hippo's on this blog. Anyone who knows me at all in "real life" knows that the hippopotamus is my all time favorite animal and has been for as long as I can remember. When I was young and my grandparents used to take me and my cousins to the zoo we would always save the hippos for last or else I would stand there all freaking day long watching them wiggle their adorable ears and watching their ginormous nostrils suck in as they go under water for a nap. I also liked them because they were mysterious and oftentimes elusive. There was no guarantee that that hippo right there would come up out of the water long enough for you to even see it because they can hold their breath for like 20 years. There is a part of me today that just wants to run to the zoo everyday and watch those hippos because they're so damn cute but instead I settle for the occasional Discovery Channel special. My love of hippo's is so well known in fact that I have uploaded pictures of my birthday gifts from some of my closest friends (I think you'll notice a central theme).


Yes I realize that the above picture is a bit dark but you still get the picture. They are cards that were made by my best friend S. from Virginia and there are 22 of them (one for each year of my life) that say "I (heart) Hippos" Is that not awesome??????


A stuffed hippo from my friend C. (I must confess when I got it I made it's ears wiggle lol)




And this, my friends, takes the cake. It was a simple hippo bank from the dollar section, cute enough in and of itself but my friend C. is a creative freakin genius and she painted my name and some designs on it and then just to make my heart explode and drip out onto the carpet she gave the hippo lips and little tiny eyelashes. I love her and I love this little bank. Gifts like this are what birthdays are all about not big expensive crap because those hippo lips and eyelashes??? They make me happier than any gift card ever could.

So fast forward to today when I walked into my favorite store ever and in the dollar section I spot......

This

And.....

This rug.

They were both in the dollar section which was marked half off and that was the last hippo rug left. I ran over to it, swept it off the shelf, and looked around as if someone was going to come try and fight me for it (and trust me I was damn ready to take them out). As I was checking out the cashier told me how cute it was and I smiled a little to myself and thanked her, little did she know what a heartless bitch she was dealing with because as soon as I got out to my car I sent my friend C. a text message that said "There's probably some hippo themed kids room with a cold bare floor because of me and all I can say to that kid is SUCK IT cause I got the last hippo rug!!!"

Me and Chelsea: BFF's

So I forgot to tell you about this one time a couple weeks ago when I met Chelsea Clinton. She's much prettier than she was when she was the first daughter and was very well-spoken. I am still absolutely floored that anyone even remotely famous in any way would come to my school because that just doesn't happen. We are like the lepers of our county, we don't get outside visitors ever. Apparently we're moving up in the world, that or Hillary really wanted to win Ohio (I'm pretty sure it's the latter) regardless, it was fun and I do have a picture of me and her but I must warn you that it is BAD. In all caps and bold kinds of bad. I will not defend myself for going out in public looking like that, there is no excuse (plus why the heck is the camera zoomed in so much?) And also my pirate eye and triple chin-they suck some major ass. But hey I can't look perfect all the time (or ever).




p.s. Even after all this I still didn't vote for your mom, sorry Chelse-meister hopefully we're still BFF's

p.p.s. No I did not shave my head I had it back in a ponytail with a headband in and apparently it just frizzed the heck out (I'm so embarrassed, blush)

As the news channels were calling it "The Weekend Wollop"

Those of you who watch the news may have seen that Ohio was hit with a huge ass snowstorm this weekend. As luck would have it I live in Ohio. The roads in my county and several others were shut down and we were only allowed to be out if it was an emergency (I have no idea how they would know that or not but my friend C suggested that "they just look deep in your eyes and know" lol) So I was home bound all weekend and I'll tell you the story in pictures:

The snow-there was a bunch of it


The snow in relation to Maggie (keep in mind that she is huge-about 75 pounds- and when sitting comes up to about my mid thigh.)


A lot of freakin snow:


But it's all okay because we have this:


And these:

Mai drawin skillz, let mi show u dem

What's that you ask? Well since its not such a good depiction of events I suppose I'll write the abbreviated story to go along with the above drawing. It goes a little something like this: Maggie got loose, rolled in something (presumably shit by the smell of her), and needed a bath. I called the place that rhymes with SmetSmart and made an appointment and in she went. 2 hours later I get the call that she's done and arrive to find a dog that smells like sunshine, rainbows, flowers, puppies, kittens, basically all things good in this world. I am happily ready to take my dog and leave until the groomer informs me that that black eye that she's sporting??? "THAT TERRIBLE DOG DID IT". I look around and unfortunately we are the only ones in there...oh crap. Next there was some babble babble about how Maggie is terrified of water and never in her 25 years of grooming has she seen a dog so terrified of water but then I'm forced to burst her bubble and tell her that this sparkly clean dog right here???? She goes to the lake and swims almost daily in the summer, she rides on our boat, she jumped off a boardwalk into water, and she has had several baths at this particular place before without incident thus diminishing any credibility that mean dog groomer had. Furthermore why the fuck was your face so close to my damn dog lady??? HUH? Were you trying to stare her in the eye?? So anyways I just kinda nodded my head and acted like I cared and then crept out. This combined with past questionable service has convinced me that I will not be returning to their establishment for bathing/grooming purposes but damn almighty will I miss the scent of that awesome shampoo!

Oh and in case you need a photo to remind you of what Maggie actually looks like in real life your wish is my command:

Very similar to the drawing no?