Now here's something you don't hear everyday

Who knew that my bra-less cleavage is the exact size of a baby starling? Well it is. Do you wanna know how in the hell I know this??? Okay I'll tell you, my mom found a baby starling in the middle of a busy road and brought it home because we live near a park where we can release it when it learns how to fly. Fast forward to a few hours after she brought it home and it was chiiiiiiirping and chiiiiirping and we all know that a chirping bird needs someplace cozy to go to sleep (actually we don't but when I don't know something I make shit up) and all I had available at the time was my shirt so in he went. He shut up right away and went to sleep for 2 whole hours! It was like a baby sling, I had on a workout top with a built in bra so he just sat in there while I walked around and went about my business. After a while his cute little mouth started to twitch while he slept, his beak resting on my left breast. It was precious and all but I'm glad we found a little nest type deal that he also likes to sleep in because I can sleep through a lot of things but I don't think a bird down my shirt is one of them.

Oh and by the way, yes I took pictures (come on now, how often do you have a bird nesting in your cleavage????) and no I will not post them on here because this is just not that kind of site.

Well said whoever you are

This was posted on the postsecret blog and it is exactly how I feel, not so much just about getting a boyfriend but about everything. I wouldn't bother losing weight if I thought people wouldn't judge me on my appearance. If you haven't checked out the postsecret blog you totally should because it's amazing.

The F-Word

Does anyone else find the beginning of the show "The F-Word" with Gordon Ramsey oddly stimulating? He's so intense looking and attractive in his own way.....ok maybe it's just me and my lack of sex.

"Whoops" and other sad news

I don't want to write it because if I write it it's true but then again I guess not writing about it isn't helping matters either so whatever, me and the b.f. broke up. Its been oh about 2 weeks now but its just starting to really sink in. We both agreed on it, he's too busy with work and I need someone who can be there for me but that does not change the fact that he is adorable and one of the sweetest guys I have ever met. I guess I knew there was no real future for us but I wanted to believe that we were special and that it would work out for us......basically I'm real big on denial apparently. So we parted ways but the thing that rips my heart apart each and every day is that we still talk, I still listen to his adorable mispronunciations and smile and he is still one of the sweetest guys in the world. Deep down I know it's over but I don't do well with change I mean hell I got a new credit card last week where I get money back when I buy stuff and I got a little sad because that meant I wouldn't need to use old faithful (my first credit card, that I have used since I was 17...tear) So you see I'm basically an emotional basket case and this is the only place I can admit that I really truly hurt, in my heart, but I know that I will be okay, just like my now ex told me last night "trust me nicole I know you will find a guy that is so much better than me" Well I don't know about better but just different and perhaps a better match. And now because I don't want to feel sad anymore I will post a funny story I told several months ago in a blog on myspace about me and my idiocy and my very loving and forgiving ex-boyfriend. It is ever-so-appropriately entitled "whoops"


They say love means never having to say you're sorry but if you have, in the span of one and a half days, ripped a bracket off a window while trying to hang Christmas lights thus causing the miniblinds (which don't even belong to your boyfriend) to fall, then while making him move them you distract him so that he turns knocking his roomates speaker off his desk and breaking the front off (all the while I'm laughing uncontrollably and not even trying to help), and finally set his oven on fire at the beginning of the Ohio State Game causing the majority of the first half to be spent a)putting out the fire and b) chiseling plastic off the oven racks, then i would say that this quote is a load of crap and encourage you to swallow your pride and apologize repeatedly for the next month.

And now for a hilarious quote

"Nicole! Tell me you didn't see that big piece of beef! Your head is not normal." (The b.f. said this to me when i spazed out cause i thought i broke his freezer door on top of eveything mentioned above so i yelled at him to come look at it, insisting that I didn't break it when if fact the true problem, as you may have guessed from the above quote, was a hunk of beef blocking the door from closing; he kindly pushed it aside and then stared at me like i was an absolute nutcase and i can't say i blame him)

Oh the irony!

Irony is spending the skinniest years of your life with a boyfriend who turns out to love fat girls and has married one, one who is not you, although you are fat now too.

Greatest moment in television

MRS. BURKE: [to Cristina] "What were you planning to do about your eyebrows?"
CRISTINA: "My eyebrows? No... thing?"

MEREDITH: "Wow!"
CRISTINA: "Mama took my eyebrows."

Preach it sistah!!!!

Wanna know what I think?? I don't care if the answer is yes or no because this is my blog and I'm gonna say it anyway. I think it is ridiculous for girls to stay with men who treat them like crap just because they're scared of being alone. I am tired of seeing otherwise strong women constantly making excuses for themselves and a guy who has not even the slightest idea what respect is.

I realize it is difficult to end a relationship (I too at one point in my life was guilty of staying in a relationship for fear of being lonely, but then I turned 17) Get over it already and have enough respect for yourself to find a guy that is worthy of you. People treat you how you let them treat you and even if it's just "this one person" disrespecting you(which, chances are it's not) that is one person too many. Have enough respect for yourself to kindly step away from those who treat you badly. I'm not saying you need to turn all psycho feminist on their ass, just nicely end it because you deserve better and chances are you will not be alone forever but even if you are at least you won't be faced with a disappointing relationship in which you are constantly getting hurt and making excuses.

Oh and if a close friend gives you advice on a man and you don't want to hear it so you accuse her of being "jealous", that's pretty much as low as you can get so if you find yourself wanting to utter those words do it privately that way in a few months when your guy ditches you you'll have a lot less back-peddling to do. And just to clear things up all of the above is also true for guys: bottom line, if someone doesn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated then they're not worth your time.

A post to delay writing the post that I really should be writing

This weekend was mothers day weekend and so my gift to my mom was pet-sitting for a day while she went bird-watching (her favorite thing in the whole world). Since she was busy on Sunday we celebrated with the family on Saturday with a cook-out and afterwards we went to the cemetery where my grandma (mom's mom) is buried.

My grandma Anna and I were very close when I was young. I have so many great memories of being with her. In the summer she would come to daycare and break me out early so we could go swimming and we always had fun. She died when I was nine years old so I don't remember a great deal about her but ever since she died I have carried around the feeling that if she has lived we would be best friends, and in a way we are. I don't know if this is weird or not but sometimes I feel like she is with me and we know everything about each other. I don't know if I make myself feel this way because it is how I like to imagine our relationship would have been or if it really is true; I am so much like my grandmother in soooo many ways that I absolutely have to believe its the latter. She made me feel special and she was my number one fan, I know she loves my cousins but I could see that special sparkle in her eye when we were together, I love her for so many reasons but I especially love her for the person she has helped me become.

Anyways, As we approached the headstone I realized for the first time that this was my mom's mother, the woman who had raised her, the same person my mom is to me is what my grandmother was to her. Before I had always just thought of her as my grandmother. And in that moment I thanked God for letting me be with my mother this mothers day instead of visiting her grave and as we trimmed and edged around the headstone (V included) we found so many things to laugh and talk to grandma about that I realized that this would be one of those perfect memories that you carry with you for a lifetime, three generations of women together and happy, if only for a moment.

Summer resolutions

So it's been an insane week what with the finals, and the moving out of my dorm, and the getting assigned a paper on the day of a final (due by the end of the week) and the scare of having my diabetic cat go into a coma and be minutes away from death and all I'm pretty tired and ready for some sun and relaxation (the cat-tigger-is fine now thanks to the wonderful staff at our vet's office)

Anyways I'm turning over a new leaf (well I am attempting to anyways). This summer instead of laying around every waking hour that I'm not at work and doing nothing I will be active. I'm gonna go check out Curves with a friend and try and workout everyday, I'm going to go to work,I'm going to get going on my Senior Honors Project, I'm going to get up early and get errands done instead of waiting until the last possible minute and then freaking out, I'm going to study for the GRE, I'm going to read lots of books, and most importantly I will do all of this while keeping up with my insane television watching habits (luckily for me most of the shows will be re-runs during the summer although I cannot wait for Hell's Kitchen!!!) Oh yeah, and I'm taking a summer class so I'll be doing homework and crap. My goal is to keep myself busy because when I am bored bad things happen....baaaad things* I dunno some people make new years resolutions I guess I always seem to make summer resolutions. They usually go so well and then the fall comes and I lose it. Whatever, at least I'll be on track for four months out of the year (an entire 1/3!!!)

*the list of baaaad things includes but is not limited to: me feeling sorry for myself, me feeling lonely, me taking on insane cleaning projects, me staying in bed for an entire two days only getting up to pee, me eating more than is humanly possibly, and just the general feeling that I am a loser who has no place in society.

Thursday night I smelled summer

I would live through a thousand bad days just to smell the scent of summer. Summer has a distinct scent and I never seem to notice as it fades away in the fall but that second when it starts to smell like summer again, I look forward to that day every year.

Summer brings with it endless possibilities; everyone's more relaxed and the days stretch out in front of you. It's a time for vacations and picnics and sun-tans, for going out on leisurely boat rides, and for going swimming in the warm evening air. Summer makes me feel alive.

And sometimes I think that I need to get out of Ohio, to someplace with a warmer climate but then I would never have that pivotal day every year when I get to experience the wonder of smelling summer and everything that it holds in store, all over again.

Success

And the perfect template has been found!!!! It took forever but I love it!!! Come, read, comment!!!

template-schmemplate

Well I'm still working on updating my template, this one is cute (pink flower one) but slightly busy and needs a lot of tweeking so it'll either be fixed soon or there'll be a new one' either way I'm striving for improvement, here's hoping I don't blow up my computer!!!

Aspirations

Ok so as I was signing on to blogger today the "blogs of note" caught my eye. My God those blogs are amazing. That's what I want to be. I want to have an original and beautiful, abstract, and unique blog. I don't want to be so mundane, I long to stand out, but I simply don't have the time or the talent just yet. So bear with me on my journey to become amazing and influential. Until then we'll stick with boring and average because I'd rather write something than nothing at all :)

How could I cheat on Blogger like that??? I'm a filthy slutbag so allow me to compensate with drunken pics

OMG for like 30 minutes today I imported this blog to wordpress and I hated every single one of those minutes. For people who are not technologically savvy like myself it is just too much. Or maybe, deep down inside, I created a whole new blog just to waste 3 hours so I wouldn't have to study knowing all along that blogger is perfectly fine........guess you'll never know

And because I had no idea how to post pictures there I will post some here just for spite!!!!!! Following are pictures from my 21st b-day (3 months ago) and no I am not proud....However I am ever so slightly amused.


We'll call this the before picture.....


First shot of the night, notice my cousin holdin up the 2-1 (oh and for future reference don't start the night with a shot that is in a glass the size of a juice glass and contains roughly 12 different kinds of liquor, unless of course you get it for free which I totally did and for the love of God make sure your shirt is straight which i apparently totally didn't)


Me extremely tipsy and saying mmmmmmm....which are the only words I could think of to describe how great the poison...i mean liquor tasted


Right before completely toasted


Welcome to completely toasted where air quotes are hilarious and picture-worthy


What the fuck is this shit??? It makes you feel goooood (until later that is)


Good to the last drop


See I could totally be a Barker's Beauty look at how I display this lovely four door sedan that as of tomorrow will reek of taco bell and vomit


In the elevator, I honestly thought I was upright


My cousin: Nicole do you want some water???
Me: No thanks my face is in some

Now I might not be a mental giant in real life but that last quote is phenomenal whether you're drunk or sober.

On the verge of finals week

Am fucking swamped with school shit!
Hate it.
Wish I could learn without all the deadlines and mandatory shit.
Shouldn't procrastinate.
Oh well, can't teach an old dog new tricks