The age-old debate

So both my laptops are old and it is now officially time to upgrade so I have been looking into switching to a Mac because I hear that they are infinitely better and also I just love the way they look (not a good reason I know)n I've been spending some time researching the pros and cons and plan on actually going to the store to talk to real, live, breathing, people about it but I just wondered does anyone have any input? Also, am I the only one who's a little freaked out by the MacBook Air? I am pretty rough with my machinery and though it looks absolutely amazing I am afraid I'd snap that puppy in half withing hours of purchasing it. Is this a legitimate fear, should I go with the more durable looking (and slightly more hefty) plain old MacBook? TELL ME PEOPLE I NEED TO KNOW!

All I want but won't let myself enjoy

I am feeling so happy but then I won't even let myself enjoy happiness because I automatically start thinking of all that could go wrong. What is it that makes me feel like everything is too good to be true? That I don't truly deserve to be this freaking happy? Because all I want is to be this freaking happy.

I'm baaaack

Okay so thank you for being patient with me while I sorted my shit out. I am feeling much, much, better and even have a hint of optimism. So, with that being said lets move on.

My computer has officially totally died and therefore the vacation pictures must wait a little bit longer.

Maggie is now attending doggie daycare three mornings a week (I never thought I would be one of "those people" but heck it sure beats coming home to see that your big loving beast got bored and decided to CHEW THE MOTHER F'ING WALL (true story))

My summer class starts next month already! :(

I met my best friend S's new b.f. while I was in Virginia and he is amazing and I just know he will be her husband some day, so excited for her! Finally, one that is worthy of her!

Oh and my cousin might be moving her wedding up, like waaay up and that means I have significantly less time to lose weight than I had originally planned. GAHHH!

And thats about all the updates I have for now because as they say: It's summer time and the livin's easy

Yuck

I am so utterly gutted. I wrote this amazing poignant post about how wonderful life's unexpected moments are and two hours later I was forced to remove it because...how shall I say this? Things were nowhere near as wonderful as they had been. It's a long story and I'm still too upset to write about it so forgive me if posting is light. I'm dealing with that deep seeded depression that makes even the tiniest task seem impossible and everything I do makes me want to burst into tears so please pardon my emotional basketcase-ness. Also, don't worry no one died or anything, it's just a personal battle of sorts.

p.s. on a brighter note I was in Outer Banks NC for a week and it was absolutely brilliant and beautiful, pictures coming soon PROMISE!

Life's unexpected moments

Sunday evening with J was one of those "moments", the kind that you instinctively know as soon as it's happening that you will be able to look back on it in 60 years and still feel that same pang of joy that you did at the time. These moments always happen when they're least expected and usually when doing something "ordinary". You're just going about your life living an ordinary existence and BAM these tiny extraordinary little moments pop up out of nowhere. I think of these moments as actually living and the rest of time is just (ha, just!) life.

It was a spontaneous dance party on a blue shaggy carpeted bedroom floor and I'll never forget it as long as I live. I am compelled to document it so that when someone asks me when I had that "moment" the one where I knew he was different and special, and that I loved him, I can say definitively: That Sunday afternoon when I was wearing the black sundress and we were making up dance moves like the Ali Baba and dancing until we had to stop because we were laughing (and sweating) so hard. And then we looked into each others eyes and we noticed that both of us had little tears in the corners because we had both felt it, that moment of pure unadulterated joy with one another. And for two people to have a "moment" at exactly the same time, that deserves to be written about because it only happens every once in a great while.