The monday blues

I'm feeling quite restless today and as of late. Don't really know why. I'm always just waiting for something new and exciting to come along when I should be focused on enjoying what I have. So I will try, try and appreciate each and every moment and stop being such a damn spaz.
p.s. I must tell you about the wedding I attended this weekend and post vacation pics....soon.

Me, in a nutshell

Life's so funny sometimes. Not ha ha funny just...interesting. There's so much to learn and accomplish and I hope I can do it all, or at least most of it. Lately, I've been feeling that a lot of people doubt me or take my relationship with them for granted so I just wanted to say, here, in my own comfortable space a few things about myself.

1) I am strong and independent but also very vulnerable and many people have the power to hurt me (though I try not to let them know) which I hate!

2) I love feeling and experiencing emotions (good or bad), it makes me feel alive.

3) I am a beautiful and deserving woman and I will not settle for second best no matter how many people around me are doing so.

4) I'm not a bitch but I require respect.

5) I am extremely loyal to those with whom I form close bonds.

6) I love my family, they are number 1

7) Sometimes I get mad and hate people just because they exist.

8) I find the ease at which some people "replace" friends or significant others hard to believe.

9) I think a lot about the past, present, and future....basically I think a lot about life and perhaps sometimes over-analyze.

10) Most importantly though: I am proud of the person I have become, I know what I want out of life and I will strive for it. I am well-balanced and try to be open-minded and understanding. I don't have thousands of friends but I have a few close one's and they mean more to me than anyone could ever know. And above all I know that the future holds so much excitement and wonder for me (even though some days I have doubts) :)

Post vacation ramblings

It's been way too long! Vacation was absolutely AMAZING but it went by so fast that I feel like I was never even there, that it was all just a dream. I spent a week sunbathing in the Outer Banks with my best friend and her family in an absolutely gorgeous house. I hate the week after vacation because I always miss S (my best friend) soooooo much, she lives in Virginia so I don't get to see her nearly as often as I need to. But I digress, I'm back to reality now.

The date went well and we kept in touch over vacation, hopefully we'll go out again sometime this week. He was quite a gentleman, opening doors, complimenting me, and if there would have been a chair to pull out at dinner I'm sure he would have. He's very attractive, very confident, and very well spoken so we'll see how it goes. He's a far cry from what I usually settle for which is good because the whole point is getting serious and no longer settling for second (or 50 millionth) best.

And finally I would just like to say a special and extremely sarcastic thank you to the catty bitchy and unloyal "friends" (also known as X and her sister) who feel it appropriate to only talk to their "friends" to get gossip about their life that they can spread around. And I especially thank you for not even trying to be discreet about it. Good luck at ever having any true relationships that aren't with your sisters losers.

Yikes-a-bee!

Heh, scored a date with said nice guy (in yesterday's post)for tonight and am now as nervous as all get out! I bet I run into at least four things today and spill at least 2. I have never been this excited/nervous for a date before. I am so very, very hopeful. After all we talked on the phone for 3 hours last night.....thats a 1 plus a 1 plus another 1!!! And never ran out of things to say. So please wish me luck and oh my goodness send good vibes my way. If all goes well tonite I might not be quite so excited about leaving for a ten day vacation tomorrow :)

Refreshing

Okay I talked to the most amazing guy last night and I just wanted to say how refreshing it was. He did not mention his penis, my breasts, my crotch or any other such thing, he was a perfect gentleman and there were no awkward silences at all. He laughed at the appropriate times, he contributed intelligently to the conversation, he asked questions instead of just answering them. It was like we were adults or something! hahaha Anyways we definitely "clicked" and I am very hopeful. I just wanted to express how thoroughly floored I am that I have finally found a member of the opposite sex who can carry on a meaningful conversation. Thank goodness!!!!!!!

Blah,Blah,Blah, (Like the teacher in Peanuts)

This weekend was a big blur of getting ready for vacation and having creepy guys from e-harmony instant message me. Seriously, what is it about guys that makes them unable to keep their yaps shut about their penises for more than 30 minutes??? I don't even know these people, talk about freakin desperate (them not me). Anyways, leavin for vacation on Thursday, goin to Selena's for a few days then leaving for NC. Whoohooo a week of relaxing in the sun with my best friend and nothing to worry about except what to eat for dinner and when to reapply sunblock, that is how life is supposed to be :) Well I really want to write but I have nothing of substance to say so I'll do us all a favor and just shut up. Tchau!

p.s. Mom quote:

ME: So Mom, how was the new ACME?
HER: (long pause, thinking about it) It was like nothing was where anything ever was at any store I've ever been to...ever.

Well that cleared that right up, glad I asked.

Queen of rationalizing

I have a theory that I was just contemplating and it goes a little something like this: I think it's the guys responsibility to make the first move as far as calling a girl goes, I mean after all it's only fair, the woman has to experience child birth right? So he can feel a little awkward now and I'll feel a little awkward later. But then i thought harder about it and figured, a measley phone call compared to pushing a bowling ball out your vagina in front of 10 million people and possibly taking a crap while doing so not to mention having to sustain that child for the next months of its life by having it attach itself to a very sensitive part of your body and suck, not to mention when it grow freakin teeth, OWWW. So anyways what I'm getting at is either the guy has it really easy or I'm trying to reationalize reasons why the guy I've been talking to should be the first to call me.