If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with

Following is a copy of the message I sent to the now ex boyfriend. Don't really want to talk about it right now except to say that we were broken up before (again too lazy to link) but this time it is more definite, more final. I feel like shit but I didn't do it to hurt him. It sucks to love someone and know that you have to let them go because they're just not right for you.


Hey, I just wanted to say hi and that I know you don't believe me and I know you don't want to talk to me but I truly do care about you. You are a great person, just not the right one for me. You will make some girl very very happy and though I will always feel just a little bit jealous I will be happy for you. I don't want you to hate me but I understand why you're pushing me away, it was never my intention to hurt you, I was lonely and I couldn't wait forever. It's not that I don't understand your life, because I do, it's just that it's not the life I want for myself. I will never ever forget you even though you say you'll forget me I know that's not true. What we had was so special and I still miss it everyday but what were my choices?? Wait for months or years until you were ready to pay attention to me?? I can't do that anymore, life's too short to wait around. If you don't have time for me now then you don't deserve my time later. I know you're just being mean to me out of anger but I really hope that someday soon we can be close friends because I miss you. I miss your smile and your accent and the way you make me laugh, I miss the nighttime "flashlight shows" you did on the ceiling, I miss the comfort of laying in your bed and staring at the ceiling, I miss our stupid little arguments and I miss feeling proud of you when you learn something new. Please don't throw everything away, I still want to be close to you as a friend. If that can't happen right now I understand but hopefully it can happen someday.
I did not mean to hurt you and I am sooo sooo sorry that it came to that but always remember me and all the fun that we had.
All my love,
Nicole