Reasons I will have to eventually move out of my moms house

This post is in honor of my 22nd birthday (a week ago tomorrow).

Carrying a really big bag so I can sneak out alcohol to drink in the car right before the club so I don't have to spend so much money on their drinks is getting really old. I mean she knows I have it, the fucker is clinking and clanking all the way down the stairs why can't I just have the nerve to carry it out right in front of her face??? Dunno but I just can't do it.

Having to listen to the phrases "no drinking and driving, no riding with anyone who has been drinking and is driving, AND USE PROTECTION!!!!" is all fine and dandy but now I'm starting to hear it two and three times before I leave and it's said IN ALL CAPS regardless of where we are or who's around.

Calling my mom in the middle of the night while at a club and ever so slighty under the influence to tell her "THANK YOU FOR GIVING BIRTH TO ME, I'M A GREAT GIFT TO THE WORLD and also that time that I said I might be home??? Well I'll be about a day late so don't worry." does not make me look like I'm "kinda a big deal" like I was telling everyone I was.

And the number one reason is...

So that when I wake up after a night out I don't have to ask my mom to borrow a turtleneck and listen to her exclaim "Eww look at those suckerbites, it's like a dog marking its territory"

Love you mommy, and while this arrangement is working out fine for now in a few years some of those things may be just a little bit awkward, believe it or not.

p.s. Let it be said that my mom knows all of the stupid shit I do (well most of it) but we feel some need to do the mother daughter charade where we both pretend I'm still semi-innocent. She is by no means uptight and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.