Reasons I will have to eventually move out of my moms house

This post is in honor of my 22nd birthday (a week ago tomorrow).

Carrying a really big bag so I can sneak out alcohol to drink in the car right before the club so I don't have to spend so much money on their drinks is getting really old. I mean she knows I have it, the fucker is clinking and clanking all the way down the stairs why can't I just have the nerve to carry it out right in front of her face??? Dunno but I just can't do it.

Having to listen to the phrases "no drinking and driving, no riding with anyone who has been drinking and is driving, AND USE PROTECTION!!!!" is all fine and dandy but now I'm starting to hear it two and three times before I leave and it's said IN ALL CAPS regardless of where we are or who's around.

Calling my mom in the middle of the night while at a club and ever so slighty under the influence to tell her "THANK YOU FOR GIVING BIRTH TO ME, I'M A GREAT GIFT TO THE WORLD and also that time that I said I might be home??? Well I'll be about a day late so don't worry." does not make me look like I'm "kinda a big deal" like I was telling everyone I was.

And the number one reason is...

So that when I wake up after a night out I don't have to ask my mom to borrow a turtleneck and listen to her exclaim "Eww look at those suckerbites, it's like a dog marking its territory"

Love you mommy, and while this arrangement is working out fine for now in a few years some of those things may be just a little bit awkward, believe it or not.

p.s. Let it be said that my mom knows all of the stupid shit I do (well most of it) but we feel some need to do the mother daughter charade where we both pretend I'm still semi-innocent. She is by no means uptight and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that.

A post followed by a whole slew of random pictures

Recently my mom and I were talking about her friends and because most of them are gay/lesbian they have either adopted their children or had artificial insemination (is that the correct term to use?) Anyways this really got me to thinking about how incredibly lucky I am to know both of my biological parents and much of my extended family. If I didn't know my parents there is so much of myself I wouldn't be able to explain like...

why I drive holding the steering wheel in the middle with my pinkies on the outside (mom)

why I think that if i lick my finger I can pretty much use it to clean up any mess (mom)

why I have the most manly looking hands known to man (dad)

why my fourth toe on each foot is a bit crooked (dad)

why I get so attached to pets (mom and dad)

why I love shopping, wearing make-up and just general "girliness" (grandma anna)

why it makes perfect sense to "re-locate" ladybugs that are found inside during the winter (ie put them in a bowl with some fruit to chew on until the weather breaks) (mom)

why I have a mole on my left cheek (mom)

why everytime I see the movie Harold and Maude I promise to live my life more fully (mom)

why I find a way to make any situation funny (dad)

why I laugh at and occasionally even make corny jokes (dad)

why I'm inspired to set high goals and standards and work hard (mom and dad)

I suppose some of these things are things I would have learned regardless but I am immeasurably grateful that each time I catch myself doing something weird I can totally blame it on my family.

And since I was on break this week I couldn't transfer pictures so as promised by the title of this post following are enough random pictures of my life to bore you enough to make cleaning the lint trap in the dryer seem exciting.


RIP Finnigan (3-15-07)


One of the only times you'll see both my precious girls together (its only because they were locked in)


While most college students are partying hard on spring break, I was at home taking pictures of my mom who was psyched because our back yard has been declared a "wildlife habitat" Told you that lint trap would look good!


My foot because like I said I WAS BORED! Is the crooked fourth toe noticable?????



My cat Ruby sniffing the camera and making one hell of a funny face



Cute damn dog looking cocky


My mom, she kinda broke her rib and this is her at night "going to chair" because shes in too much pain to go to bed.



Cute damn dog lookin cute


Cute damn dog lookin serious


Proof positive that I can, in fact, trash anyplace that I go, the clutter just follows me.

And now the highlight of my spring break because I'm pathetic like that is this beauty...

Thats right, it's a new DVR of my very own. It smells of plastic and newness and everytime it records something I feel compelled to tell it "thank you" and then cry a little bit, silently, about the joy that is my own personal slice of heaven in the form of recorded television shows.