The Big White Dog and The Little Helpless Mole

This is the story of The Big White Dog and The Little Helpless Mole.

Cast (It's all-star, let me tell you):
The Big White Dog: My dog Maggie (who is, convenient to the plot, both big and white)

The Little Helpless Mole: Hmm how about a random mole from my backyard?

The Concerned Owner of The Big White Dog and would-be savior of The Little Helpless Mole: Yours truly

Setting: A nice, albeit snow covered, backyard much like my own.

Scene 1: (The scene opens with a big white dog (perhaps a white german shepherd husky mix, even) tied out in the backyard for her afternoon frolic in the snow)

The Big White Dog: (Frolic, frolic) Hmm this snow is really great today, it's as high as my belly but my owner has so very thoughtfully shoveled a section so that when I get tired I can take a rest. (Frolic, frolic, roll in shit, frolic) You know what I think??? I think the proper thing to do when your owner is so thoughtful as mine is to sniff around for an animal to "play with*"
*where play with in this particular piece means to throw into the air repeatedly until The Concerned Owner of The Big White Dog and would-be savior of The Little Helpless Mole catches me and runs, in socks, through the snow, screaming fuuuuuck the whole way down the hill, to scoop The Little Helpless Mole out of my death grip with a shovel.

The Concerned Owner of The Big White Dog and would-be savior of The Little Helpless Mole: "Oh shit Maggie what did you do?" (Looks down and notices that LHM is propelling itself forward with its front arms but everything from mid-back down is just dragging behind) So like any thoughtful human being would do she got a towel and a cardboard box and put it inside but left it outside because she is semi-intelligent when it comes to animal rescues (having participated in many) and knows that if it goes into the warm house it will perish of shock.

The Big White Dog: Gives a quizzical look and wonders: Where did my toy go?? Why is she putting my toy in a box??? Do I get to unwrap it like a gift?? Oh Happy Day!!!!!

The Little Helpless Mole: Alas I have been saved from the clutches of the Big White Dog and The Concerned Owner of The Big White Dog has done a good job of trying to save me and my cute squinty eyes and little quivering nose but it was all for nought because now I will die in this box with my adorable little buck-teeth sticking out.

The End

Epilogue:
The Little Helpless Mole was lovingly placed at the base of a large tree so that Mr. Fox would have dinner for the cold night that lie ahead. The circle of life must persist.
The mother of The Concerned Owner of The Big White Dog arrives home to ask if her daughter has walked "The Murderer" yet.