Thursday, March 1, 2007

Late afternoon rambling

Wow, two posts in one day I'm sure it will never happen again but whatever I'm at work with absolutely nothing to do (I'm a student assistant in an office which = homework time) so I thought what the hell may as well write here since I'll probably miss the next few days since I don't have much to do and will be totally unmotivated because I'll be at home for various family functions ok enough rambling and into the story of interest.

I've been friends with a certain person (we'll call her X) for many years now and she is the type of person who show absolutely no emotion and deems it a weakness to do so. X also has several issues with herself and thus because she cannot share them has a horrible tendency to take them out on all those around her. It was progressively getting worse and one time she actually walked around screaming at me and calling me a stupid slut...yeah great friend behavior I know. She later explained to me that she did that because I hurt her with my actions and she wanted to hurt me right back. Hmmm...or you could have just mentioned it to me and I would have stopped w/e my "actions" were and apologized but whatever. So it progressively got worse and worse, to the point where it was no fun being around her because a) (and she actually told me this so its not speculation) she didn't understand how I could be so happy with myself because I wasn't pretty* and neither was she and how could I even like myself the way i was (oh trust me it made for great shopping trips where she would literally stop talking to me half way through and for the rest of the day because I could fit into a pair of pants that she could not) and b) because I felt that she didn't give a shit about me based on her rudeness so after a while of things getting worse and worse a big falling out ensued during which we did not speak for about 4 or 5 months.

*Just an aside, while I will be the first to admit that I am not a beautiful person nor a skinny person, I feel that I am in fact quite average and am content with who I am*

Anyways long story long we got back in touch and from that day on everything went to hell in a handbasket because I somehow "betrayed her" (her words not mine)and blah blah blah and its two months later and i've apologized and tried to move on but about once a week i get a call slinging new accusations at me and wanting to "discuss" aka argue over things she is supposedly over. Everytime we agree to start over it goes good for a few minutes and then right back down the drain. So the other night after another 2 hour "talk" I finally just said I'm sorry I miss what we had but it's obvious we can't get along like we used to so I think we need to take a break" she wouldnt except it and kept talking for a looong time about how terrible i am, I finally just said I'm sorry and hung up but heres the point of all this

Am I wrong here???? Or is there a point where you know someone is just being vindictive and makes you feel so negative about yourself and your life that you just have to pull away? Am I a terrble person or am I just being realistic and protecting myself?

Obviously there's much more to the story but I could never get it all typed out but you get the picture.

If anyone reads this or any of my posts please comment with opinons or anything really and now that I've bored everyone to tears and disgusted you with my terrible late afternoon writing skills I'll wrap this up. Bye for now

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